


The Arrangement

by donsboy



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Promises, F/M, Lies, M/M, Wedding, original character deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21564631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donsboy/pseuds/donsboy
Summary: Starsky and Hutch have a certain arrangement.
Relationships: David Starsky/Original Female Character, Ken Hutchinson/David Starsky
Kudos: 7





	The Arrangement

Hutch stood at the bar sipping his second beer. Huggy walked up to him and asked how he was holding up. Hutch replied that he was fine, but Huggy didn't quite believe his friend. Hutch looked out across the bar, and saw Starsky having a grand old time with some of the guys from the station. The bachelor party had been Huggy's idea and he had gone all out. Just about the time that Hutch looked over at the partying men, Starsky looked up and they made eye contact. Starsky headed for the bar under the pretense of getting another beer, and walked up to stand next to Hutch.....

“Are you okay, Hutch?”

“Sure..... I'm fine.....”

“Why don't you come over and join us?”

“Starsk, you know crowds really aren't my thing.....”

“You could at least be sociable.....”

“This is about as sociable as I want to be....... consider yourself lucky I came at all.....”

“Don't be like that, Hutch......”

“Have fun, Starsk..... don't forget to be at the church on time tomorrow.....”

Hutch turned and left the bar leaving a perplexed and slightly sad Starsky in his wake. Hutch drove around for a while before he went home. He was doing his best to wrap his head around the fact that this time tomorrow, Starsky would be on his honeymoon, while he sat alone eating his heart out. He arrived home and got ready for bed. As he drifted off to sleep, he wondered how the marriage was going to change the arrangement he and Starsky had, or if it would change it at all. Time alone would tell.

The next morning found eveyone at the church getting ready for Starsky's wedding. Huggy had gone to check on Hutch, who was ready. He walked across the hall to where Starsky was and shook his head at the sorry sight before him. Starsky had one hell of a hangover and was having trouble getting dressed. He asked Huggy if Hutch was ready yet, and Huggy told him that he was. Starsky asked him to bring Hutch so he could help him finish dressing. Huggy said he would and that he had to go check on the food. Hutch came in and took over. He got Starsk into his tux and went to stand by the window to admire his handiwork. Starsky looked great. When Starsky glanced over at Hutch, his breath was taken away at how beautiful his best friend looked. He shook those thoughts from his mind and started concentrating on Robin, his wife-to-be.

He was brought back to reality by Hutch asking if he was ready to do this. Starsky replied that he was, and said that he was excited. As soon as he said the words, he saw the light go out in Hutch's eyes. He knew then that this was hurting Hutch more than he was letting on. He wanted to comfort his friend, but there was no time. Huggy came in and said that they needed to get downstairs and take their places. Starsky vowed to try and talk to Hutch about this when he had more time. They guys took their places, and the ceremony began.....

After the ceremony was over, the minister presented Mr. and Mrs. David Starsky to the guests. Everyone clapped and cheered, and the reception was underway. Everyone congratulated the couple, and then Robin and Starsky had their first dance as man and wife. People made toasts to the happy couple, and the wedding photographer started taking pictures of the bride and groom. Starsky kept scanning the crowd for Hutch, but couldn't see him. Right before the pictures started being taken, he saw Hutch heading for the exit. By the time the photographer finished, Hutch was gone. Soon it was time for Starsky and Robin to leave for their honeymoon. They were spending two weeks in Hawaii.

Later that night, Hutch was reflecting on the day's events. He'd stood up with his best friend (and part-time lover) and watched him get married. Even though he and Starsky talked about it, it was all Hutch could do to stand there and watch it happen. That's why he'd pulled his disappearing act when the wedding photos were being taken. He couldn't take seeing Robin and Starsky so happy when his whole world had been turned upside down. Hutch supposed he shouldn't be so selfish but he couldn't help himself. It hurt too damn much not to be selfish and wallow in his self-pity.

The next morning, Hutch went for a run, came back, showered, and had breakfast. He went into his office and started a new chapter for his third novel. Since he retired from BCPD, he found his niche writing detective novels. His first two were wildly successful, and he was secretly hoping the novel he was writing would be just as good. He worked most of the morning, and then ate lunch. He decided to take a walk along the beach and when he returned, he wrote some more.

Meanwhile, in Hawaii, Robin asked Starsky if he wanted to go to some of the shops in the hotel and take a look around. He said he would rather rest for a while, but she should go and have fun. She kissed him and headed out the door, promising she would be back soon. As soon as he was alone, his thoughts went to Hutch. He wondered how he was handling things. He was stand-offish at the bachelor party, then he disappeared before the reception started. There was no time to try and catch up to him because of all the activity. Starsky knew he'd hurt Hutch badly, and that Hutch was starting to shut him out. He hoped that when he got back to Bay City, he would get a chance to talk to Hutch because he didn't want his friend to shut him out completely.

Hutch came in and checked his machine for a message from his publisher regarding the new novel. He'd finished it a couple of days before and had just returned from mailing it to the publishing house. He had lunch and decided to take a nap. While he was sleeping, he dreamed of Starsky. He had come to Hutch and told him that everything had been a lie and that he was coming back to him for good. Hutch woke up with tears streaming down his face, wishing it could be true. He went to the bathroom and washed his face, then took a good look in the mirror. He didn't like what he saw there at all. He took one more good look and said; “Hutchinson, you are so screwed!”

Robin and Starsky returned from their honeymoon about a week later. They were in the process of moving some of Starsky's things to Robin's place and trying to decide what to do with the things Starsky wanted to put in storage. Soon, it was time for the couple to go back to work. When Hutch burned out and retired, he encouraged Starsky to take the Lieutenant's exam. At first, Starsky balked, but when he took the exam and score second highest overall, he was as proud as he could be. Hutch was proud of him, too, and told him so. Robin worked as a nurse at Mercy General Hospital, and Starsky joked that treatment of injuries would be on the house from now on. 

Things settled into a routine, and one day Starsky remembered that he wanted to pay Hutch a little visit involving quality time. He tried to call Hutch but the line was busy. He figured if he had time, he would stop by Hutch's place after work. That plan went out the window whe Robin called and told him she had made reservations for them at The Chateau for 7 p.m. Noticing the time, that would give Starsky just enough time to get home, shower and change. He told her that he would see her at home just as soon as he got off work and ended the call. Dammit! He'd really wanted to go see Hutch, and now that was shot to hell. He knew that if he didn't get by Hutch's place soon, Hutch was going to shut him out completely, and that was something he couldn't allow to happen.

That night at dinner, Robin could tell that Starsky was in a funk, but she didn't know why. She thought maybe it was something about work, but that wasn't the case. She decided to try once more to find out what was bothering her husband......

“Dave?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“What's wrong? Something's on your mind, and I can tell it's serious..... please tell me.....”

“It's about Hutch, baby..... I'm worried about him.....”

“Did something happen to him?”

“Not that I know of...... I haven't talked to him since the day of the wedding......”

“But Dave, that was over a month ago!”

“I know.... I've tried calling him, but the line is always busy. I know he has an answering machine.....  
I keep hoping I can get him on the phone or maybe stop by there and talk to him, but work gets in the way, or I don't have enough time.....”

“You told me that you and Ken were closer than brothers..... and that he was your best friend in the whole world, right?”

“He's all of that and more....."

"Maybe he's just giving us time to get established....."

"I hadn't thought of that..... maybe you're right....."

The two had another drink, and then headed home. When they got there, Starsky tried to call Hutch and actually got through......

“Hutchinson.....”

“Hi ya, blintz!”

“Hey, Starsk..... how's it going?”

“Good..... I've been trying to reach ya ever since we got back from Hawaii......”

“I've been busy.....”

“Finish another book already?”

“Yeah....”

“Hutch, I really need to talk to ya, and I was hopin' I could come by, say tomorrow afternoon?”

“That would be okay.....”

Starsky lowered his voice to just above a whisper and said; “I can stay all afternoon......” Hutch said that would be great, and asked Starsky to call when he was on his way. Starsky said he would and ended the call. He went to the bedroom where Robin was taking a shower, undressed, and slipped in behind her. Needless to say, they didn't get to sleep til the wee hours of the morning.

The next day found Hutch's mood much improved. Starsky was finally coming by! He changed the sheets on the bed, did some lite house cleaning, and worked on his latest novel. He couldn't seem to concentrate so he gave up trying to write. Around 12:15, the phone rang and it was Starsky, telling him that he would be there by 1 o'clock. Hutch double-checked everything and was waiting on the couch when Starsky walked in the door. Hutch jumped up and ran into Starsky's arms, kissing every available inch of skin he could reach. Starsky returned the favor and the guys collapsed on the couch.....

“How have you been, babe?”

“Aside from missing you, I've been okay.....”

“Have you been working?”

“Yeah... I'm halfway through novel number four....”

“So it won't be long until you have another book out, huh?”

“Nope.....”

“By the way, Hutch, there's some stuff I need to talk to you about......”

“Let me guess: the bachelor party, in the dressing room before the wedding, and my leaving before the reception started?”

“Yeah.... what was all that about?”

“Starsk, I just couldn't enjoy myself knowing you were getting married the next day. The day of the wedding, it was hurting me so much to have to stand by and watch you get married. I left because I didn't want you or anybody else to see how much I was hurting.....”

“I know I hurt you, babe, and I really am sorry.....”

“Skip it, Starsk..... it won't change anything.....”

“I thought by trying to apologize for hurtin' ya, it would show you that I still care about ya, and that I'd do my best to keep you happy. Hutch, you have no idea how much I care about you, do you?”

“Sometimes I wonder....”

“Well, how about you let me take ya to the bedroom and show ya?”

The whole time they were making love, Starsky hated when Hutch kept catching him sneaking a peek at the clock so he could get home on time. They started to make love one more time when Hutch suddenly got up from the bed and told Starsky to get dressed. When Starsky asked why, Hutch told him that he knew his mind was on getting home to his wife instead of being on him. Starsky hated the dejected look on Hutch's face, and wished there was something he could do to change it. Once they were dressed, Starsky said he would be back just as soon as he could. Hutch looked down at the floor as Starsky opened the door and headed down to his car. Hutch locked the door, grabbed a beer, sat down on the couch, and let the tears flow.

Starsky got home right on time to find Robin cooking dinner. He slipped up behind her and let his arms circle her waist while he nibbled on her ear. She laughed and told him that if he wanted dinner on time, he needed to grab a beer and go watch the news. He laughed and told her they would pick up where they left off later. While they were eating, Robin asked Starsky if he'd talked to Hutch recently. When he asked her why, Robin said that she wanted to invite Hutch for dinner one evening. She said that she hadn't seen him since the wedding, and would like to see him. Starsky said that would be great, and he would give Hutch a call. Robin told him to tell Hutch that she wanted to have dinner on Thursday.

The next day, Hutch was working on his novel when the phone rang.......

“Hutchinson.....”

“Hey, you.....”

"What do you want, Starsky?"

" Robin wants you to come dinner on Thursday......”

“This Thursday?”

“Yeah...... please come.....”

"What time?”

“Around 7 should be good.....”

“I'll see you two then......”

“Lookin' forward to it, babe.....”

“Like you were looking forward to yesterday?.....”

“That's not fair, Hutch.....”

"Tough shit....."

Starsky ended the call, and Hutch went back to work on his novel. When Thursday came, Hutch was a bit nervous. He hoped that he could keep from staring at Starsky like the love-starved fool he was, especially since Robin would be there. When he arrived at Starsky's house, Starsky met him at the door and caught him up in a bear hug because he was so glad to see him. Before he released him, he whispered in his ear; “You look good enough to eat!” Hutch laughed and said; "Too bad you aren't hungry these days....." and punched Starsky on the arm. Robin came in and greeted Hutch, asking if he would like a beer. She said dinner would be ready shortly and went back to the kitchen.

Starsky was brooding about Hutch's comment when Hutch asked about work. Starsky remarked that sometimes being a Lieutenant wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He entertained Hutch with stories from the office while Hutch told him about some of the things he'd seen and done on his last book tour. The talked some more of inconsequential things and then Robin appeared in the living room doorway telling them dinner was ready. Hutch stood to go to the dining room, noticing that when Starsky stood, he had to adjust himself. Hutch couldn't help notice that he was half hard.

Dinner was great. Starsky got Hutch to open up a bit, and things progressed from there. Robin asked him about the basics of writing a novel, and he explained his work process. He commented that the hardest part for him was naming the characters. He said that since he was writing about actual events, he had to change the names of the guilty and not-so-guilty. Robin laughed and said that doing it that way would save him from a lawsuit one day. After dinner the threesome went into the living room to visit some more. Hutch politely asked Robin about her work as a nurse, and she entertained the guys with anecdotes about some of the staff she worked with.

Soon it was getting late, so Hutch decided it was time to go. He said good-bye to Robin and thanked her for a nice dinner. She told him that they would have to get together again soon. Starsky walked Hutch out to his car, and the two stood there talking quietly.....

“I'm glad you came tonight, babe....”

“Are you really?

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

"Of course....."

Hutch started the car and pulled away. When he got home, he poured himself a glass of wine and tuned the radio to his favorite soft jazz station. He sat there on the couch going over the evening in his mind. He'd had a really good time with Starsky and Robin, and he looked forward to doing it again sometime. In truth, he was just glad to be around Starsky. His thoughts turned to his best friend and part-time lover. He smiled when he thought about the arrangement Starsky had made with him before he married Robin. So far, the arrangement was working fine. Starsky made love to him when he could, just like he promised, and Hutch got to keep a little piece of Starsk for himself. Hutch had no idea that things wouldn't stay the same.....

Time moved on, and everybody got busy at once, it seemed. Hutch was gone on a book tour, Starsky was buried in paper work, and Robin stayed busy at the hospital. When Hutch returned from his book tour, he checked his machine to see if Starsky had called while he was gone. He was disappointed to find that he hadn't called, but figured he would call soon. He took a shower and went in to unpack. A few weeks later, Hutch took a break from writing, and took a long walk along the beach. He sat down in the sand and his thoughts turned to Starsky as they did more and more these days. Hutch had been home for three weeks, and still hadn't heard anything from his best friend. He'd thought about calling him, but decided that it was best not to. If Starsky wanted to get in touch with him, he would.

What Hutch didn't know was that Starsky was doing things with Robin, and hanging out with some of the guys from work. One afternoon after Starsky left work, he stopped by to see Hutch. To say Hutch was glad to see Starsky was an understatement, but Starsky acted cool and reserved. He offered Starsky a beer, got one for himself, and sat down at the table with his friend saying; “Talk to me, Starsk.....”

“The first thing I want to say is that I'm sorry for not calling or coming by. I've had quite a bit going on lately....."

“What's going on?”

“Work is a major hassle right now, and I've had a constant river of paperwork flowing across my desk. Usually when I get off work, I just want to go home and forget everything.....”

"Does that mean me, too?”

“Not necessarily, Hutch....... I'm sorry I haven't been by. I'm sorry for hurting you, but I really have been busy, but I promise I'll get by soon and we can spend some quality time.... that okay with you?”

“I'll believe that when it happens.....”

“Hutch, I really gotta get going, babe, but I promise I'll get by soon.....”

“Musn't keep you precious wife waiting, right? Or is it your buddies from work?”

“What the hell do you mean by that?”

"Just what I said, Starsky! You've been lying to me and I finally caught you at it. You would much rather be doing the whole "husband" thing at home, and hanging out with the guys from work, or God knows what else instead of spending time with me."

"It's not that, Hutch...… I just don't have time for you anymore...…."

Hutch looked at Starsky with a hurt expression on his face, waiting for Starsky to say something, but no words came. Starsky turned, opened the door and was gone. Hutch sat down on the sofa, in shock about what Starsky had just told him. It hurt to think that Starsky would say something like that, and mean it. When Starsky walked in the door at home, he grabbed a beer, thinking about the argument with Hutch. He felt bad for telling Hutch he had no time for him anymore, knowing that would hurt the blond. In reality, Starsky knew he could spend time with Hutch. All he had to do was make the time. When Robin got home, he asked her about her day. She told him about a multi-car pile up on the freeway that had filled the emergency room. She asked Starsky about his day, and he complained a bit about the never-ending paperwork. She asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner that night, and he agreed.

When they arrived at the restaurant, they saw Hutch sitting at a table waiting for his food. Robin called to Hutch and waved. He groaned inwardly when he realized it was Robin and Starsky, yet he invited them to sit with him, even though he really didn't want to hear anything Starsky had to say. The two joined his table and Robin asked how he'd been, and he replied that he was fine. She asked if he'd been busy writing, and he said that he was in the home stretch of finishing another novel. Conversation with Robyn flowed easily, and covered many subjects, but conversation with Starsky was awkward at best. After dessert, Robin excused herself to go to the ladies' room while Starsky and Hutch finished their dessert. Starsky asked Hutch what the hell was wrong with him, and Hutch just looked at him with smoldering anger in his eyes and said; "You don't have time for me anymore, remember?" Starsky started to reply when Hutch made the remark that if he said one more fucking word to him, Robin would know everything!Hutch signaled for the check, and Starsky tried to argue that he should pay for his and Robin's meals. Hutch countered that they were his guests, that he was paying, and that was the end of it. He waggled the famous Hutchinson finger at him for good measure.

In the parking lot, the three said goodbye and before they went their separate ways, Robyn asked Hutch if he wanted to go with them to the Laguna Car Show that Saturday. She told him that Starky had taken her three weekends in a row and that they had a blast. Hutch explained that car shows didn't really interest him but he thanked her for the invitation, turned to glare at Starsky with pure anger in his eyes and walked away. Starsky knew he was on Hutch's shit list for sure, thanks to Robyn. Starsky and Robin headed home while Hutch did the same. When he arrived home, he headed for the beach where he could gather his thoughts regarding his latest project, and think about Starsky. If he were to be honest, he really came out here to think about Starsky and what he had told him. He couldn't believe that Starsky didn't have time for him anymore. It hurt to think that he was just wasting time waiting for something that might not happen again. Hutch headed back to his house and got ready for bed, hoping that Starsky might change his mind.

One afternoon a little over two months later, with no warning, Starsky called and asked if he could come over. Hutch asked him why, and all Starsky would say was that he needed to talk to him. Hutch was curious because this was the first time he'd heard from Starsky since that night at the restaurant. When Starsky arrived, Hutch could tell he had something big on his mind....

“Starsk, take a deep breath and calm down.....”

“Okay..... are you ready?”

“Yeah.....”

“Robin's pregnant! Isn't that great?”

"Oh, no....." Hutch didn't want to believe what he was hearing. He tried hard to keep the tears from coming, but he failed miserably. He kept his head down because he didn't want Starsky to see, by he felt a finger hook his chin and bring his head up to where he was looking into Starsky's indigo eyes.....

“Talk to me, Hutch.......”

“Starsk, I was hoping I could talk you into trying to find some time for me, but now that Robin's pregnant, it's useless. This means that you have to spend all your time with her, and none with me."

“You're right about me having to spend all my time with Robyn and none with you, but what can I do, Hutch?.....”

"We could just go ahead and end this….."

"There's no way in hell that's gonna happen...… I love you too much to let you go...…."

"If what you say is true, why don't you show it anymore?"

"We've been over this before , Hutch....."

"So I'm supposed to keep being a part-time whore?"

Starsky grabbed Hutch by the arm and said; “Don't you ever let me hear you talk like that again! Do you understand me, Hutch? Please don't do that......”

“Why not, Starsky? I'm telling the truth....."

" You are not a whore.....you're my best friend, and my lover, got that? And I don't want to call it quits.......”

“What if I do, Starsky...… you never thought about that did you?”

"What the hell is wrong with you?....."

"I'm tired of all the bullshit. You said you didn't have time for me, so why keep pouting salt in an open wound by coming by?" “Hutch, lookit, I'm sorry that things have changed, but babe, I don't know what can be done at this point. The only thing I can come up with is that we keep the arrangement like it is until I can figure out something else. Starsky noticed the time and told Hutch he had to get going. He told him that he would get by as soon as he could, and that they would spend some quality time together. Hutch looked Starsky in the eye and said; “No, you won't. You'll find something else to do.... besides, you don't have time for me anymore, remember?".....slamming the door in Starsky's face.

The following few months were torture for Hutch because he missed Starsky terribly, but Starsky wouldn't do anything about it. Starsky was either busy with work, or he and Robin were making plans for the baby. He'd tried to call Hutch a few times after their discussion, just to see how Hutch was, but all he got was the answering machine. He'd leave messages, but Hutch never returned his calls. He wasn't giving up on Hutch because he knew that he'd hurt him badly by telling him that he didn't have time for him. The thing was he didn't try to find the time. Instead, he went to car shows with Robyn, hung out with co-workers at Huggy's, and did many other things that didn't include Hutch. One Sunday afternoon while Robyn was out grocery shopping, Starsky started thinking about Hutch and the way he had been treating his friend. He knew he was doing was wrong, and that he wasn't keeping up his end of the bargain they'd made when Starsky married Robin, but he really didn't know what to do about it because everything was so crazy anymore. Robyn was always wanting to go and do, some of the guys at work were always wanting him to have a beer after work sometimes, and so many other things came up that he really didn't have time for Hutch. He thought about the last time he talked to Hutch, and the comment Hutch made about being a part-time whore. That had cut Starsky to the bone when Hutch said that. It never occurred to Starsky that the way he'd been treating Hutch would cause him to feel that way.... Starsky gave up thinking about Hutch and turned his mind to other things, not caring that he hadn't found a solution to the problem.

One afternoon, about 3 months into Robin's pregnancy, the unthinkable happened. She was on shift at the hospital when she miscarried. Her doctor wasn't sure what happened or why, and all Robin could tell them was she had been having cramps all morning. Starsky was called, and he made it to the hospital in record time. He asked if he could see Robin, and they let him in......

“Hey, babe...... how are you feeling?”

“I feel like shit, Dave......” At this point she started to cry.....

“Hey..... it's gonna be okay..... we can always try again, can't we?”

“Not according to Dr. Preston..... she says my uterus was too damaged and that she has to do a complete hysterectomy. I can never have children.......”

“Oh, babe..... when is the surgery scheduled for?”

“Tomorrow morning at 10:00......”

“I'll be here...... I'm going home to shower, eat a bite, call work and let them know I won't be in for a few days, and grab what ever you need me to bring from home....”

“Just bring me a couple of gowns, my slippers, and my robe..... Dave, call Hutch and let him know.....”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes....”

“I'll do that.....” Starsky kissed Robin and got ready to leave. He went home and tried to eat, but the tears came fast and furious. He cried for the loss of his child. He called Hutch, and was surprised when he answered the phone.....

“Hutchinson....”

“Hey.....”

“What?"

“Is it okay if I come by? Please?

“What for?”

“I really need to talk to you.....”

Hutch hung up the phone, and it occurred to him that something was bad wrong because Starsky sounded strange on the phone. He went to the kitchen to grab two beers, and sat down to wait for Starsky. Soon he heard Starsky pull into the drive, and Hutch met him at the door with a beer. Starsky put the beer down on the table, grabbed Hutch and held on for dear life. Hutch held him as he cried himself out, and then led him to the couch to try and find out what was wrong......

“Hey...... what's going on?”

“Robin had a miscarriage this afternoon at work. Her doctor told her that her uterus was damaged, and that she would have to have a hysterectomy tomorrow morning at 10:00. Hutch, my child is gone.....”

Hutch held Starsky while he cried, and soothed him until he was able to calm down......

“Starsk, I am sorry to hear about what happened. I know this has to be so very hard on both of you....”

“It's horrible...... by the way, she told me to call you....”

“She did?”

“Yeah.....”

“Probably because she knows I would take care of you and keep your head on straight.....”

Hutch exchanged the warm beers for cold ones, and came over to sit by Starsky on the sofa....

“Hutch, you remember the last time I was here, and what we had to talk about was at cross purposes?”

“Yes, I do.... why the hell are you bringing that up now?”

“Well, I tried to call you several time right after that happened, but all I got was the machine. Why?”

“Because I didn't want to hear anything you had to say to me .......”

“I knew I screwed up, I just didn't realize how badly..... I'd make it up to you if I could, babe.....

"No you wouldn't.... you'd just keep lying to me and trying to find new ways to not have time for me.....”

"What the hell is that all about?"

"Just stating the obvious, Starsky"!

Hutch noticed the time, and suggested that Starsky get some sleep so he could be at the hospital on time the next morning. Starsky went to the bedroom and got undressed. He called to Hutch and asked if he was coming to bed , and Hutch replied that he would be there soon. He went into his office and tried to write, but it was no good. He could hardly concentrate knowing that Starsky was in the bedroom. He curbed his urges, and decided the best thing for Starsky was sleep, and that was all they were gonna do was sleep. He set his alarm, undressed, and climbed in bed next to Starsky who was already fast asleep.

When Starsky woke, he smelled coffee and food cooking. He grabbed a robe he kept at Hutch's and headed for the kitchen. Hutch was busy at the stove and when he heard Starsky walk into the room, he asked if Starsky wanted some coffee. He poured him a cup and place a plate of blueberry pancakes with bacon in front of him, telling him to eat. After they finished breakfast, both men showered and prepared themselves to face the day. Hutch knew that Starsky fully expected him to go to the hospital with him, so he got ready to go. As they left Hutch's house, Starsky remembered that he was supposed to bring Robin's gowns, robe, and slippers. They stopped by Starsky's, he got the items he needed, and they headed to the hospital.

When they arrived, Starsky asked for Robin's room number and they went to see her. She was waiting for the doctor to come when Starsky poked his head in the door and asked; “Anybody home?”

“Dave, I was hoping you would come early.....” Starsky bent down to kiss his wife.

“I brought you a surprise, too......come on in......”

Hutch stepped into the room and said hello. Robin was very pleased to see him and said so. Hutch told her how sorry he was to hear about what happened, and Robing thanked him for his well wishes. The doctor came in, and Starsky wanted to stay to get the ins and outs of the situation. Hutch was stepping out the door when Robin thanked him for coming. He closed the door and found the waiting room to have a seat. Starsky came out briefly to tell him that he was going with Robin while they settled her in the operating room, and that he would meet him at that waiting room as soon as that was done.

While Starsky and Hutch were waiting for word about Robin, Hutch tried to keep Starsky occupied by telling him about his latest novel that was soon to be printed. Starsky asked questions in all the right places, but Hutch knew he was only half paying attention. Hutch stopped talking just to see if Starsky would notice, and it was a good five minutes before he did so. He looked over at Hutch and gave him a half-smile. He said; “I'm sorry babe, I guess I'm not such good company right now.....”

“I understand, Starsk, I really do. You're worried about Robin. She's the most important thing right now, anyway......”

“I agree, but that doesn't mean I have to ignore you.....”

“I'm used to it...…" Hutch stared defiantly into Starsky's eyes. Starsky heard what he said, and Hutch couldn't miss the hurt in Starsky's eyes.... "Hutch, I'm sorry that things aren't working out like I thought, but I do still love you even if I can't be there....."

"Liar! There have been times when you could have been there, and you damn well know it! And as for loving me, I'm really starting to doubt it. Starsky, if you love me like you say, why don't you show it anymore?"

" Baby, I've treated you badly.... I know that. I don't mean to, it's just that life seems to get in my way." Hutch could see tears forming in Starsky's eyes when he said; "Hutch, no matter how bad things are, I really do love you, believe it or not. I've never stopped, and I've never stopped wanting you, either....." 

"You sure have a fine way of showing it, David Starsky!" 

The waiting room was silent as the guys were lost in their thoughts while they waited for word about Robyn.....

After what seemed like hours, Robin's doctor, Cynthia Phelps, came into the waiting room where the guys were. Hutch knew immediately that bad news was coming, and Starsky seemed to have picked up on it, too......

“Dr. Phelps, how is Robin?”

“Mr. Starsky, I'm afraid Robin didn't make it. There were complications from the surgery, and there was nothing we could do. I'm very sorry for your loss......”

As she stood to leave, Hutch gathered Starsky in his arms as he watched his best friend in the whole world fall to pieces. Hutch had no idea how long they sat there, but he wasn't going anywhere until Starsky was ready. Starsky finally pulled himself together, and told Hutch that he needed to get busy. He dropped Hutch off at home, even though Hutch didn't think Starsky being alone was such a good idea. When he arrived home, Starsky called Robin's parents, who offered to come and help with the arrangements. Starsky thanked them, and then called Parker Center to speak to his supervisor and let him know that Starsky would be taking some time off. When he finished his phone calls, he went to the kitchen cabinet and found the bottle of bourbon he kept there. He poured himself a healthy drink and went to sit down on the sofa.

He wondered how he was going to get through the coming days. He immediately felt foolish for thinking that because Hutch would always be there for him, wouldn't he? He wasn't sure after what was said today. He thought about the situation with Hutch and decided that Hutch would be there for him even when he was upset. The thought comforted him very much. He reached for the phone to call Hutch and got him on the second ring.....

“Hutchinson.....”

“Hey, it's me.....”

“How are you holdin' up?”

“I'm okay, I guess....”

“Did you get your phone calls made?”

“Yeah.... that's all taken care of.....”

“Have you eaten?”

“Don't feel like it....”

“Want me to bring you something?”

“Stop pushin' at me, Hutch..... I just wanna be alone right now, dammit!"

"You want to be alone? Fine!" The phone clicked loudly in Starsky's ear as Hutch hung up on him.

Starsky knew that Hutch was just trying to be there for him. He reached for the phone and dialed Hutch's number to try and apologize.....

"Hutchinson....."

"Hey, it's me..... are you mad?"

"You're damned right I am..... I know I shouldn't be right now.....but just like in everything else between us, you're shutting me out.....

“Hey, it's just one night.... I'm gonna need to lean on you more in the coming days than I have in a long time...... I swear I'm not shutting you out. I just need some time alone.....”

“Fine! I get it....you want to be alone. I'll do my best to stay the hell out of the way..... ”

Hutch hung up on Starsky a second time, and Starsky knew better than to call Hutch back. He knew that he'd hurt Hutch's feelings, and that was really the one thing he should not have done because he'd done it so much lately.

The next few days passed in a blur for Starsky. Robin's parents came to town and helped with the arrangements and the service. Hutch was in the mix somewhere. Starsky had cast him aside because he said Hutch was acting like a mother hen. Hutch understood that this was about Starsky and Robin, so he stayed in the shadows, watching in case Starsky needed him. When it was all over, Starsky went home and collapsed, sleeping for sixteen hours. When he woke up, he reached for the phone to call Hutch. The machine came on, and Starsky left a message asking Hutch if he was busy later and telling him to call him back. While he was waiting for Hutch to call, he tidied up the house, showered and dressed. Hutch finally called about an hour later, and told Starsky to come over if he wanted to.

When Starskey arrived at Hutch's house, he could tell that something was bothering Hutch. Hutch looked so sad and that bothered Starsky because he knew that it was his fault. Starsky also knew it was because they hadn't spent any quality time together, in addition to the fact that Starsky had treated Hutch so badly. The problem was that Starsky wasn't in the mood, and he was wondering what Hutch would say when he heard what Starsky wanted to talk to him about......

“How are you, Starsk?”

“I'm okay, I guess....”

“Would you like a beer?”

“Sure.... hey, blondie, is everything okay?”

“Not really.....”

“What's wrong, babe?”

“Just wondering about us.....

"What do you mean, Hutch?"

"I'm just wondering how much longer this is going to continue...."

Starsky had a seat on the sofa while Hutch went to the kitchen for another beer. He came back to the living room and walked up behind the sofa. He leaned in, put his arm around Starsky's shoulder and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Starsky pulled away and Hutch stood up, walking to his recliner. He sat down and stared at his hands, waiting to see what Starsky was going to say. Starsky set his beer on the coffee table and stood up to walk over to Hutch's chair, kneeling down in front of him......

“Hey....... Hutch, please look at me.....”

Hutch raised his head, and Starsky saw the tears flowing. He felt like a real ass for what he was about to say, but he hoped Hutch would understand.....

“Hutch, I'm not ready to be intimate right now because I'm not really in the mood. I feel too raw, you know?”

“Starsky, I only meant it as a comforting gesture.....I know you don't want anything else from me.....”

Starsky knew he needed to tread lightly because he'd hurt Hutch by rejecting his comfort. It hurt to know that Hutch, who used to be so happy to see Starsky now seemed so sad and defeated whenever he was around......

“That's not true, Hutch. There's plenty I want from you, just not right now. I apologize for misunderstanding your actions..... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings..... I know I've neglected you, but you've known most of the reasons why. Hutch, how long has it been since we made love?”

“We've been intimate one time in eight months.....”

Hutch's answer shocked Starsky. That explained a lot about Hutch's behavior lately. Eight months? It just proved to Starsky how much of an asshole he'd been to Hutch. As he sat there thinking about what Hutch said, it all started coming back to him. All the times he talked to Hutch, promising he'd come by soon, promising quality time and not delivering. Ignoring chances to be with Hutch to do other things, telling Hutch he didn't have time for him, stringing Hutch along the way he had. When it all came together in his mind, Starsky understood why Hutch was just barely civil to him and ignored his phone calls. Having realized all of that made it harder for Starsky to ask Hutch for what he needed from him.....

“Hutch, I need to ask something of you.....”

“What?”

“Hutch, I'm gonna need some time to myself to try and get my head together....."

"You've got to be kidding me.... I've waited for you all this time, and now you want more time away from me?"

"Babe, I know that's a lot to ask since it's been a while since I spent any time with you, but I really do need the time.....”

"For what? So you can go out and find somebody else to marry instead of being with me???"

"It's not for that, Hutch.....

He turned to Starsky and said with tears flowing down his cheeks; “Starsky, I don't know if I can. How do I know this isn't another one of your excuses? How do I know this isn't another version of the 'duck and dodge?" Starsk looked at Hutch and said; “Hutch, I know you don't believe me but I'm sorry for the way things have turned out. I should have done better by you, but I didn't and I'm sorry for that. But I promise I'll make it up to you if you'll give me a chance. Hutch, please say you'll give me a chance.....”

"You realize that your promises aren't worth shit to me right now, don't you? As for giving you a chance after the way you treated me. I doubt it very seriously......"

Starsky grabbed his jacket, and headed for the door. Hutch knew in his heart that if Starsky left and started up with more of his bullshit, that that would be the end for them. When Starsky closed the front door, Hutch threw his beer bottle at it as hard as he could, watching it shatter in a million pieces. Starsky heard the bottle hit the door and realized that Hutch was beyond hurt..... he was furious! Just as he was about to turn and head for his car, he heard more glass break. Concerned, he stepped back into Hutch's living room just in time to see Hutch take a baseball bat to the patio door. He yelled Hutch's name to get his attention, but Hutch ignored him. When it was all said and done, Hutch had broken out every window on the ground floor of his house. He collapsed on the living room floor crying his eyes out. Starsky tried to tend the cuts on Hutch's hands, but Hutch punched him in the mouth, telling him to get the fuck out NOW! Starsky opened the door, then turned back to look at Hutch once more. What he saw broke his heart because he knew that he had driven his best friend to this. He got the feeling that if he didn't get his shit together he would lose Hutch forever, if he hadn't already. Another thought that crossed Starsky's mind was that if he had indeed lost Hutch, it was his own damn fault.

One month later, Starsky tried to call Hutch. He left messages, hoping Hutch would call back soon. He tried to reach Hutch almost every day, and then gave up . After what he'd seen the last time he was at Hutch's place, he was afraid he'd done too much damage and Hutch really didn't want him anymore. He so wanted to hear Hutch's voice because he was lost without his best friend. He knew he'd told Hutch he needed time, and now he needed Hutch. The question was did Hutch need him after all the shit he'd put him through. Starsky was so ashamed when he thought of his treatment of Hutch. Now he needed to let Hutch know that he realized what a fool he'd been and wanted to know if he still had a chance with Hutch. He wanted Hutch to know that he was ready to be with him, if he would still have him. He knew that he would not be able to live with himself if he had driven Hutch away forever. While Starsky was trying to reach Hutch, the blond was out of town on a book tour. It was almost over and Hutch was ready to get back to Bay City. When he arrived home, he found seventeen messages on his machine from Starsky. He thought long and hard about calling his friend back because the pain and anger were still pretty fresh. He finally gave in and called Starsky five days later......

“Hello?”

“Starsk....”

“Hutch! Oh man, am I glad to hear from you.....”

“How are you?”

“I'm doing great.... how 'bout you?”

“I'm tired.... I just got in from a book tour.....”

“Oh, I see..... that explains why I couldn't reach you.......”

"Consider yourself lucky I even called you back.....”

"I guess you're still pretty angry at me...."

“You could say that...... give me a day or two and I'll try to call you.....”

Starsky was disappointed with Hutch's answer, but he knew that it was his own fault. If he was gonna get a chance to let Hutch know that he truly was sorry for what happened, he was gonna have to play by Hutch's rules. It was the least he could do, considering the damage he had done......

“That sounds great.....”

"Goodbye, Starsk......”

Hutch ended the connection and went to get a beer. He went our onto the deck and sat down in a deck chair. He thought about what he wanted out of his relationship with Starsky, and he wanted to get Starsky's thoughts on where they might be headed. He knew that he wanted Starsky all to himself, but if that's not what Starsky wanted, then they may have to go their separate ways.

Three weeks later, Hutch called Starsky and told him to come by when he had time. Hutch was on the phone with his agent when Starsky showed up. Starsky inwardly cringed when he saw that Hutch's hands were still lightly bandaged. He walked up to Hutch, took him into an embrace, and Hutch placed his hand flat against Starsky's chest, pushing him away.....

“What was that for, Hutch?”

“Starsky, we really need to sit down and talk about us......”

“Okay.... what's on your mind?”

“What makes you so sure I still want you after what you put me through?"

"Well, I hoped that when you found out how sorry I was for what I did, you might consider forgiving me.....

"Are you sure this is not going to be one of those situations where things are fine until someone else comes along?"

“I'm positive..... Babe, I've had time to think about us, and I realize that I was a fool for trying to have my cake and eat it too. For that, I am truly sorry. I know I did some serious damage to our relationship, and I damaged your trust in me, but I give you my word that from now on, I will only have room for YOU in my heart. I'll spend the rest of my life making you happy, treating you with the respect you deserve, repairing the damage I did to us, and to your trust in me, and I'll see that you don't regret taking a chance on me......”

Hutch looked at Starsky with tears in his eyes and asked; “You really mean that, don't you?"

"Yes, I do, Hutch.....”

Starsky reached for Hutch and held him close, kissing the tears from his face. When Hutch calmed down, Starsky said; “Whadda ya say, Blondie?.....”

"I say I'm gonna need some time to think about this, just to make sure I'm doing the right thing....."

"Are you sure, Hutch?"

"As sure as you were the night you told me you needed time to get your head together....."

Hutch could tell he scored a direct hit when he made that comment by the look on Starsky's face. Now Starsky would know what it felt like to be kept waiting.....

"Starsk, I won't keep you waiting long...… I promise....."

Starsky picked up his jacket, kissed Hutch on the cheek and walked out the door.

Hutch waited nearly a month before he called Starsky and asked him to come over. When he got there, Starsky waited nervously to find out what Hutch was going to say...…"Starsk, I've come to a decision about us. I want to be with you, but we can't have another situation like we had before. I won't stand for it. I want you to promise me that you will only have room for me in your life. If you will do that, then I'm all yours, if not we can say goodbye here and now....."

"I swear I will....

And he did.....

The End


End file.
